44 E 161st St
Bronx, NY 10451
For Mother’s Day, my wife got her Mom tickets to see a Yankee’s game. That means I got to go too! With 3 prior visits to see the Yankees this summer, I thought I had eaten my way around the stadium but was still looking forward to Carl’s Steaks, Lobel’s, garlic fries and any of the other tasty treats inside the home of the Bronx Bombers. The night before, Derek Jeter made an astonishing accomplishment by tying Lou Gerhig for most hits all-time at Yankee Stadium. Electricity was definitely in the air for the game and our seats in front row, upper-tier right behind the umpire, were perfect to catch Jeter’s first hit on base that day.
Shortly after Jeter’s whopper, I noticed the couple sitting at the end of our row eating what looked to be a delicious burger. Even though I had already taken down a Carl’s Cheese Steak like hawk descending upon a field mouse, (while waiting in line, I pointed at the grill and said ” that’s my happy place!”) the site of a burger got the tummy grumbling. I excused myself from the seats, grabbed 2 cold Yunegling’s and got in the long Nathan’s line, smacking my lips in anticipation of a burger. I got an order of chicken fingers, cheese fries, a corn dog and one Nathan’s cheese burger. The server unwrapped the burger in front of me and as I was about to question the move, she turned around and whacked the patty with a dollop of the ever so tasty cheese used on the fries. I started to tremor with excitement.
Upon returning to our seats, I handed Cara and her Mom the other food items and got in burger eating position. Next at bat, 1 Nathan’s burger with cheese. I took a bite and almost froze in place. Was it possible? I looked at Cara and said “this is so burnt that it tastes like a charcoal briquette.” I took a 2nd bite and it was not only burnt, hard and crunchy but it actually tasted like charcoal. Not even the world’s best cheese sauce was saving it. Cara looked at the disgust in my face before deciding to take a bite. “This tastes like a hockey puck covered in gravel and then deep fried in dirt.” That was it. I couldn’t take another bite. I wrapped the burger up and threw it away as if to shame it from existence.
Thankfully the corn dog, cheese fries and chicken fingers were SPECTACULAR, otherwise I would’ve have left totally bummed out.
Dear Yankee stadium,
I love you deeply. You are filled with many delectable comestibles but it seems none of them are a burger.