The Vortex Bar and Grill – Burger Lovers Valhalla

The Vortex Bar & Grill
438 Moreland Ave
Atlanta, GA 30307

With the Scion Rock Fest happening in Atlanta, GA, it gave us a perfect excuse to travel down from NYC and try out the heralded Vortex Bar & Grill. The place is top rated and was recently featured on Man VS. Food on the Travel Channel. But with a website that promises “kick-ass, bad habits, hot chicks, booze, bar, cold beer, burgers, cocktails and motorcycles,” how can it be bad, in fact, it had better “kick-ass.” The location in Little 5 Points is the original and the one that 17 of us descended upon ready to fill our faces with tasty burgers and a wide selection of beer from around the world.

With crazy decorations including skeletons, animal heads, old beer signs, warnings about bar etiquette and punishments, girls making out in the corner and a 20 foot skull entrance way, this place is about over doing it and that was exactly my plan. How could we not be excited? YOU ENTER BY WALKING INTO THE MOUTH OF A SKULL!! While dining we heard Neurosis, Van Halen, Scissorfight, Iron Maiden and N.W.A., I truly felt at home.

With a plethora of strange and different burger creations, I had trouble choosing between the famous “Double Coronary Bypass” with bacon, 2 eggs and cheese, served between 2 grilled cheese sandwiches and the “Elvis” a burger topped with bacon, cheese, fried bananas and peanut butter. What is one to do….CHOOSE BOTH! Everyone’s jaws hit the floor when they saw our very friendly waiter, Calvin, place them both in front me. My mouth began to water. Where to begin?

Double Coronary – gotta say, this greasy monstrous creation of decadence stood in front of me as if to say, “Dear Rev, Screw healthy, live large. You only live once. Love, DCB.” I bit in and had trouble registering what was happening inside my mouth. All the flavors mashed together and it was confusing as I was really eating 3 sandwiches all at once. After a few bites, I was able to discern the flavors. The grilled cheese was OK, not great, the burger was pretty good but a little over cooked. The eggs, I actually prefer a little but runny but still good and a nice mix of bacon and cheese. As individual parts, pretty good, as one massive middle finger to my cholesterol levels, amazing.

The Elvis – I cried for the first 3 or for bites. The mix of tastes was unlike anything I had ever tasted before and although many at my table winced at the thought, once they tried a bite, they all agreed. Elvis was the clear winner for taste, preparation and sheer creativity. Couple with some crispy, well cooked tater tots and a variety of craft beers, this made for one hell of a burger lovers dream.

9 out of 10 ounces

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11 Responses to The Vortex Bar and Grill – Burger Lovers Valhalla

  1. I can’t speak for the Double Coronary, but I concur that The Elvis was a fucking winner! So delicious.

  2. The milkmans son says:

    I'm a pansy and went the safe route with chicken Tenders (just as bad as getting the chicken at a steak house), which my arteries are thanking me for right now. I had no problem getting liquored up and listening to Pig Destroyer & Neurosis on the Juke Box though.

  3. pat says:

    As a weight challenged person, it’s safe to say I’ve eaten more than my fair share of burgers and the Single Coronary was definitely the best I’ve had. Add in the fact that Calvin the waiter was the best (how many waiters give the customer a tip?) and I will say that the next chance I can I will be back at the Vortex.

  4. Dave says:

    The single coronary made me feel like I needed a quadruple bypass, but if you gotta go you might as well go happy!

  5. Marc says:

    I had the amazing Blue Cheese, Bacon and Mushroom burger. Up there with Top 3 burgers of all time. I also gotta try the Elvis and Double Coronary…if there is one picture that should be on, it should be a map of Atlanta (or at least a picture of The Vortex)

  6. Swirly says:

    while the Vortex is famous there is this joint in ATL called Ann Burger Shack that always wins the Burger of the year award down there.

  7. DICK TUDOR says:

    I had the Coronary Bypass Burger and the next night had The Elvis. Not to take anything away from the tastiness that was the CBB, but I have to say The Elvis was the clear winner between the two. I took some of the onion rings that came with my Elvis and placed them in the mix as well just to make it all the more delicious…I recommend anyone traveling to Vortex in the future does the same. And a big shout out to our waiter Calvin who made sure I never had an empty Miller High Life bottle for too long.

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