Havensight Mall, Building 18
Route 30, St Thomas, VI 00803
Burgers in St. Thomas – Part 2
The original story can be read on one o’ me favorite websites, A Hamburger Today.
Click here t’ read in th’ King`s English.
Below be a translation for me sea farin’ mates!
`Tis standard practice. I go somewhere new; I search ou’ a burger t’ eat while I be thar. That be exactly what happened while I be in St. Thomas in th’ U.S. Virgin Isles, arrr fer me brother Matt’s weddin’. Th’ trick be findin’ a time t’ fit ‘t in an’ convincin’ his new bride-t’-be, Gina, t’ let us go. When I found ou’ that th’ Michigan State University football game (Matt be obsessed) be on at th’ same time that Gina needed t’ get ready fer th’ ceremony, I seized th’ opportunity.
Th’ Shipwreck be located jus’ off downtown Charlotte Amalie, th’ major city in St. Thomas, in th’ Havensight Mall. Wi’ th’ gigantic Great White Shark, massive hamburger an’ Coors Lite keg abroadside, thar be nay way ye can miss ‘t. Th’ décor? Imagine if a college sports bar be inside a sea dog’s ship. Everythin’ be made ou’ o’ a dark wood an’ thar be lots o’ crazy things on th’ walls, funny paintings an’ signs, mannequins, flat-screen TVs an’ video poker games.
Th’ Shipwreck has a selection o’ burgers on th’ menu but I jus’ sailed’ wi’ the’r signature item, th’ “Shipwreck Burger” — bacon, cheddar an’ fried onions — prepared medium rare. Besides th’ standard toppings, ye can also get salsa, guacamole, jalapenos, a selection o’ cheeses an’ mushrooms. Th’ poop deck beef patty comes served on a sesame seed bun an’ wi’ a side o’ fries, which I chose t’ be havin’ covered in cheese.
Much t’ me surprise, me bun had 2 tops, which I thought be a really cool idee but then I reckoned ‘t had only happened t’ me sandwich. Th’ ¾ LB burger patty be massive, bigger than I expected but unfortunately over-cooked. Th’ bacon, cheese an’ onions be great. Th’ burger be made from freshly poop deck check an’ had that old school, grilled-by-yer-father-in-th’-aftyard taste. ‘t be juicy — although nay as salty as I would like — but still a good burger. As fer th’ fries, they be undercooked, flavorless an’ th’ cheese be barely melted. Admittedly, I still ate all o’ them.
Th’ burger be good an’ ou’ o’ th’ 3 burgers I ate (Fat Turtle, Shipwreck an’ Shark Bar at Coral World) ‘t be by far th’ best one. If ye go on Fridays, all burgers be half-off! Don’t forget t’ get yer picture wi’ th’ big shark!
Th’ entire event provided fer a nice getaway fer th’ fellas an’ on top o’ that, th’ Spartans defeated Purdue. Matt an’ Gina, think o’ this as me weddin’ gift: Ye’re now Burger Famous!
Ya lily livered lanlubber!